You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I cut my penus on the lid.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
