I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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