omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
