It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
