hell yes lets make some ravioli
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
