Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
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