Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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