oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
