Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
