I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
