He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize