Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
