I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
