I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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