do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
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she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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