i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
