There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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