You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
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Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
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Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.