; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe