So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
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Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
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So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?