yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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