I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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