and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
