you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
