Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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