my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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