Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
