Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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