can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
