I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize