We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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