yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
