Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize