i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
