benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
