If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
