Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
