Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
