i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Randomize
