drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
