I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
