..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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