She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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