saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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