At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
