My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
