Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
