did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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