Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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