im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
