Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
