At least make sure they are 18
Why
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
