Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
