I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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