I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
