Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize