Just fell off a train. Bad.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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