dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
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Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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