I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
