Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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