Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
