yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
