I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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