Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
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Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
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i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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