I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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