I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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